I celebrated my 18th baptism anniversary in Norway during the COVID pandemic. (June 30th)
In a recent epiphany, it dawned on me that there are two kinds of people who previously claimed to be christians but left the church anyway.
First, those who were overcome by worldly desires (Mark 4:19) and instead of being humble acknowledging sin against God, it is easier to just go with the flow and not being embarrassed at all about sin thinking that God is so gracious and it is OK to rely on self, justifying choices and fashioning a convenient God into their life. A God that can bless them with all the material things and relationships they desire. Forgetting that God is just and righteous.
Second are those that declare they are no longer christians after falling into sin or having a lifestyle that is not Christlike by perhaps their own standards and they cannot forgive themselves -based on their own standards. Satan has taken away the word that was sown in them (Mark 4:15)
I think in my 18 years, many times I have seen friends that have been swayed by either of these two. I felt really sad , I even got sick at some point and really angry. However, at times I am tempted to be or the other too. There were times that I feel like a failure in my Christian life I just want to give up and don't care. It is more convenient to just go to a convenient church with no accountability and just be self-righteous.(2 Timothy 3:5)
I am able to keep moving forward with the help of faithful Christians and by the grace of God alone. I remind myself to forgive myself, ask help so I can find God's will for me and be confronted with my mistakes , my flaws and what I need to grow in.
Philippians 3:14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
I am where I am now because God sees the bigger picture. He has a perfect plan and I am glad I am saved by grace.